for those of you who don't know

i used to really want to be a photographer. 

here are some pictures, for your viewing pleasure.

on being happy now

i went on a few more hikes this weekend. but, i mean, are you surprised?

i'm going to be perfectly honest with you when i tell you about my experience this weekend.

not the experience of discovering our copy of coco before the chanel was in french, or how that made it all the more beautiful. not the experience of seeing deer in their natural habitat and almost getting eaten by a cougar. not even the experience of trying to hug my visiting teach-ee and stepping on her toe and tripping over her rug and being that most awkward toucher that i am.

after all of that.

i found myself lying in bed, watching jersey shore. (judge me, i deserve it.)

and i looked at the clock. it was approximately 6:15 pm.

and i thought to myself i wish it were 4 hours later so i could just go to bed.

is that the worst thing you've ever heard?! i couldn't find one thing in this world that would be more interesting to do with the next 4 hours of my life than watching jersey shore, racking a reality-show-head-ache, and counting down the minutes until it would be socially acceptable to go to bed.

as soon as i had this thought, i hated myself. i chastised myself. how dare you! there are beautiful mountains to explore, drives to embark upon, people to meet! you'll never have these next 4 hours of your life again, and you just want to SKIP them!?

that's when i realized. this whole time, i've been living my life under the mentality of "i'll be happy when..." when... i move out. i have more friends. i have a boyfriend. i have children. blabitty blabitty blah.

the other day, i was discussing with a friend how i've always had something to be sad about. i've always looked forward to the next chapter in my life. and i've ALWAYS looked backwards and thought "i really miss those days."

i'm working on pinpointing the parts of my life now that i'll miss later on. that i'll look back on and think "that was fun" or "why didn't i take advantage of that?" or "if only i could go back to that time." if i can identify them now, then i won't be disappointed later that i didn't fully appreciate what i had.

i won't feel like "i'll be happy when..." instead, i'm trying live my life with the mentality that "i'll be happy now."

so i picked up my lazy ass and went on a night hike with some friends. and it was freezing and not totally worth the drive, but it was adventurous and it obviously beats jersey shore.

life lately (picture overload)

a few months ago, i went to moab with my dad. 

we went hiking, rafting, and hieroglyph sighting.

it was awesome.

fall is my favorite season, but it's cut short in utah by long summers and longer winters.

i have made sure to soak it up all i can by going on a million hikes.

i'm obsessed!

can you even believe i live here?!

(pictures from three separate hikes.)

of course, i've been working. a lot.

i really like my job. i like everyone i work with, and i get to work with kade!

but we get bored... so we doodle and have orange peeling contests.

as always, food has played a pretty important role in my life these days.

and! i was at cafe rio the other day, and a worker brought me a tres leches; my fave!

i said "i didn't order this?"

and she said "someone asked me to give it to you."

it was the most random and awesome thing that's happened to me!

(if you have information on this anonymous giver of cake, please send your tips to the comments section of this post.)

and, of course, for your viewing pleasure,

here's my god-babe, cutest kid you ever did SEE.

This post was to prove that my life isn't as cryptic and depressing as the rest of my blog is.

Regular posting to resume... now.

apartment tour, for those who were interested

this, obviously, is the view from my peephole to outside. 
how awesome are iphone cameras??

on the right, you have the nail which holds my keys. this should not be such an important part of my life, but it really is. before this nail, my keys could never be found. never.

there's a metaphor here somewhere..

next, we meander on over to my kitchen. on the left, you have "the wall." this wall has pictures of most of the people who matter most to me, cool art, and random things that are awesome but have no home (i.e. fortunes from my chinese addiction.)

please take note of my adorable god-baby top-center.

to the right, we have my tea kettle, salt shakers, microwave, and spice rack.

these things are important to me and are integral to my connection with adulthood, 
but the story gets long.

i'll spare you.

now we hop over to my living room. i need to invest in some curtains, because my apartment gets damn hot during the day. also, those lanterns have lights but they don't plug into anything because i think visible hanging extension chords are tacky, 
hence, again, the need for curtains.
on the right, you meet the beard (crucial) 
and are introduced to my addiction to chevron fabrics.
incidentally, the colors of that pillow are exactly the colors of the in rainbows album i have hanging above it.
didn't even realize it until i took this picture.



lastly, we head toward the back of the apartment where i actually live, and have invested less time decorating.
andy warhol lives in the bathroom and reminds everyone to be kind. thanks andy.
also, how cute is my shower curtain? cheapest one at walmart. WHAT UP.
and... you can kind of see the bureau i refurbished, which is one of four items total that make up my bedroom.
it's a plain space back here, but we're working on it.




anyway, that's mostly it.
i really really really love my little place, 
which is feeling more and more like home everyday.

side note: i have a balcony.

never used it.

anyone want to come over for a dinner party?

cocktails on the balcony?

summer playlist

super ready to ride bikes and roll down the windows and live in a swimming suit. can't wait to see the beach!

we used to be friends - the dandy warhols
she said, she said - the black keys
punching in a dream - the naked and famous
bodysnatchers - radiohead
vibrations - javelin
help, i'm alive - metric


some other sunny playlists

baby shower

my favorite lady, mersadee ann clayburn adams, is having a baby soon. i am so incredibly excited. everywhere i go, i see baby things and i just have to get them. (like these i got him for christmas. is your heart aching of adorable-ness?!) baby mason is going to be so spoiled by his aunt michal.

anyway, my second favorite lady, paige, is amazingly creative and inspired and threw the most adorable work-and-ward baby shower. i want to say i was responsible for this darling soiree, but i just swept the floors and set out the food.

is it not the funnest thing you ever did see? i know you're jealous. mason is so lucky to be born into a family of such amazing people, and i'm lucky to be along for the ride.

things i love most (according to my iphone)

1. bowser
2. my brother daniel, who dressed up as michael jackson for halloween, which makes me love him even more
3. my brother sam, who (obviously) kills it with the ladies
4. delcious food


honorable mentions (that i don't have pictures of on my phone) include:
mersadee ann clayburn adams-and mason
my car
rustic nail polish
fresh fruit
my parents
and (duh!!) my phone

friday playlist

something about this time of year makes me feel so content. it also makes me feel like crying. in a good way, you know?

it just makes me want to go on a long, directionless drive in the rain, heat blasting, music playing, where i can cry and think and just be.


here's a little playlist should you have the urge to drive and cry and be.

reckoner - radiohead
brothers on a hotel bed - death cab for cutie
redford (for yia-yia and pappou) - sufjan stevens
eet - regina spektor
too late - m83

photo credit: me
(taken on just such an occasion)

breathing

i've experienced a few minor set backs in my self-improvement project. i had a lot of disappointments and therefore allowed myself to indulge in some unhealthy behaviors i used to enjoy.


but i found myself not enjoying them. i found myself feeling trapped, suffocated by my old lifestyle.

things that have been really helping have been healthy meals, good friends, and lots and lots of sunshine.

photos taken via instagram app for iphone



did i mention my new phone?! that's helping lots, too.

friday playlist

here's a little playlist to accompany your sunny, happy weekend!


phantom limb - the shins
gimme sympathy - metric
amsterdam - peter bjorn & john
susie cues - javelin
honey - moby
new theory - washed out

photo credit: me