this is my family.

we haven't done family pictures in five years.

on being happy now

i went on a few more hikes this weekend. but, i mean, are you surprised?

i'm going to be perfectly honest with you when i tell you about my experience this weekend.

not the experience of discovering our copy of coco before the chanel was in french, or how that made it all the more beautiful. not the experience of seeing deer in their natural habitat and almost getting eaten by a cougar. not even the experience of trying to hug my visiting teach-ee and stepping on her toe and tripping over her rug and being that most awkward toucher that i am.

after all of that.

i found myself lying in bed, watching jersey shore. (judge me, i deserve it.)

and i looked at the clock. it was approximately 6:15 pm.

and i thought to myself i wish it were 4 hours later so i could just go to bed.

is that the worst thing you've ever heard?! i couldn't find one thing in this world that would be more interesting to do with the next 4 hours of my life than watching jersey shore, racking a reality-show-head-ache, and counting down the minutes until it would be socially acceptable to go to bed.

as soon as i had this thought, i hated myself. i chastised myself. how dare you! there are beautiful mountains to explore, drives to embark upon, people to meet! you'll never have these next 4 hours of your life again, and you just want to SKIP them!?

that's when i realized. this whole time, i've been living my life under the mentality of "i'll be happy when..." when... i move out. i have more friends. i have a boyfriend. i have children. blabitty blabitty blah.

the other day, i was discussing with a friend how i've always had something to be sad about. i've always looked forward to the next chapter in my life. and i've ALWAYS looked backwards and thought "i really miss those days."

i'm working on pinpointing the parts of my life now that i'll miss later on. that i'll look back on and think "that was fun" or "why didn't i take advantage of that?" or "if only i could go back to that time." if i can identify them now, then i won't be disappointed later that i didn't fully appreciate what i had.

i won't feel like "i'll be happy when..." instead, i'm trying live my life with the mentality that "i'll be happy now."

so i picked up my lazy ass and went on a night hike with some friends. and it was freezing and not totally worth the drive, but it was adventurous and it obviously beats jersey shore.

life lately (picture overload)

a few months ago, i went to moab with my dad. 

we went hiking, rafting, and hieroglyph sighting.

it was awesome.

fall is my favorite season, but it's cut short in utah by long summers and longer winters.

i have made sure to soak it up all i can by going on a million hikes.

i'm obsessed!

can you even believe i live here?!

(pictures from three separate hikes.)

of course, i've been working. a lot.

i really like my job. i like everyone i work with, and i get to work with kade!

but we get bored... so we doodle and have orange peeling contests.

as always, food has played a pretty important role in my life these days.

and! i was at cafe rio the other day, and a worker brought me a tres leches; my fave!

i said "i didn't order this?"

and she said "someone asked me to give it to you."

it was the most random and awesome thing that's happened to me!

(if you have information on this anonymous giver of cake, please send your tips to the comments section of this post.)

and, of course, for your viewing pleasure,

here's my god-babe, cutest kid you ever did SEE.

This post was to prove that my life isn't as cryptic and depressing as the rest of my blog is.

Regular posting to resume... now.

does any one else's heart just hurt of baby-less-ness?
i may invest in a puppy sometime soon...

this weekend was a productive one.

i ran this race, then went to this pub, to see this band, and watch this game.

even though i did some really fun things, by the end of the weekend, i was itching to get home and just be.

i'm seriously getting old.

this sweet thing is my new baby. 

it's the only thing i wanted (besides my apartment, which i'm getting into this weekend. merry christmas to me!!!!!!) and i couldn't be more ecstatic. 

but. here's the thing. 

i don't really play that well. 

correction - i don't really play. 

i can pluck out house of the rising sun by the animals and wonder wall by oasis (because i'm pretty sure it's a requisite to learning the guitar) and that's pretty much it. 

but my one and only love in life is music. hearing music and having music and making music and being music. it's just what i do. 

not in front of people. i'm not my sister, mind you. 

anyway, i miss the piano. every day, as i lay my body to rest, my fingers ache of loneliness. but since i'm in the nomadic phase of my life, slash since my new little apartment is barely big enough for just me and all my shit,* slash since i'm way poor, a piano is just out of the picture for me for the next little while. 

but my body must make music, so my cousin, who is amazinnnngggg at the guitar, is going to start giving me lessons so i don't have to just play adele's someone like you over and over and over. 

anyway. 

that's what i got for christmas. thank you, santa. 

*moving, which involves packing and lugging and lifting, etc., always makes me realize how much freaking shit i have. really?! 

**in other news, a few of my friends have recently gotten married and have non-returnable extras of almost everything , so i am the proud owner of a new griddle, spice rack, and silverware set. thank god for utah and terribly young marriages, right?

sally hansen

this has been my go-to color for the colder weather. i've been wearing it for almost a month straight.

the grey-ish purple is a subtle, but perfect accent to any winter outfit.

i even noticed the girl at the counter at teavana (where i spent one hundred and one dollars on TEA... i have a problem) was wearing the same color.

i've been skipping out on
the photo project recently,
so this post is a sad excuse
for trying to catch up.

on high school

i hated it.


i was anti-participatory.

and now kind of regret it.

so i live vicariously through people who rock at high school, like my cousin collin, who won the sir knight pageant.

not my most flattering photo,
but it's the most recent one i've got.

television

here's the thing: i don't watch tv.

sports excepted, i don't ever actually watch a television set.

that being said, i have watched a shitload of tv.

this seems silly, right?

on self portraits