my engine rumbled idly and heat rasped through the vents, warming my icy fingers.
the rain wasn't heavy enough to splatter the windshield in fat, lazy melancholy like i'd hoped. instead, small drops sharply darted toward the glass like feathered quills. i watched as they formed tiny tributaries, occasionally conjoining flows at acute angles.
the whole scene went blurry as my attention caught inside my own head. that had been happening a lot lately. life would go slightly out of focus as my thoughts consumed my present.
questions swam around, just beyond my visions reach. wordless questions, questions i couldn't quite articulate. my head was just in an abstract state of loss and confusion.
questions without foundation, like "can i keep this up forever?" or "where am i supposed to be?"
questions with no answers, like "when will my head break surface?"
ever-present and all-encompassing questions, like "why?" or worse, "how?"
and then the light turned green. a car horn barked from behind me and i was sucked, in one startling fell swoop, back to reality. back to the rain, the road.
and life--real life--resumed like normal.
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