chapter two

sometimes, he says things to me that make my heart skip a beat.
a small stutter in the otherwise constant rhythm.
and for one small moment, that tiny moment when my heart is stammering, that's where i'm most vulnerable. the walls around my soul are momentarily weakened, and i'm penetrated, changed.
it's those tiny moments of vulnerability that are overriding days upon weeks of logical thinking.

everyone asks me "why? why him?"
and i just say "I KNOW, okay? I know. I don't know why."
but it's because, sometimes, he makes my heart skip a beat.
and when my heart is fluttering, unable to maintain the wall, he settles himself in just a little deeper.
that's why.


but i realized something today.
he makes my heart skip. but then it resumes its rhythm, the walls go back up.
my heart doesn't want him in there. it's doing its best to push him out.

it's not going to be the person that makes my heart skip a beat that i'll spend my life with.

it will be the person who makes my heart stop.