i don't know if anyone else is keeping track, or even cares, but..

today is a very special day for me.

it's my anniversary.

today--one year ago--was the day that i made some very stark realizations, the most important one being my self worth.

i realized that i deserved a lot more than i was allowing myself to have. the things that i thought made me happy, the plans i had for the future... they were way off base.

how could i know? i was homeless, jobless, car-less, with a hard and fast idea of where i was going... i was just a kid.

and now that i have my own place, work a great job, and own my own car, i realize i'm in a much better place to decide what it is that makes me happy, what my plans are for the future.

and you know what?

...i have no idea. i'm grown up enough to see that plans for the future are for kids. blueprints, rough drafts, general sketches of what makes you happy are the only reliable things. because you can't plan for happiness. all you can plan on is your foundations of happiness.

so my rough idea of happy future look like this: writing, loud music, baby mace, ice cream, fresh cut flowers, running, my siblings, The Office, graduation, new clothes, fresh fruit, big cities, small towns, lots of traveling, and, of course, a constant, ever renewed sense of who i am and what i deserve.


guys? it's been a good year.